i haven't updated in over a week, so i think i ought to. of course, i haven't prepared for my spanish oral exam in as long, but strangely i don't feel the same obligation. go figure.

i just got back from a spontaneous trip to damon's with my homegirl lani, and i'm left in a pretty contemplative mood. we talked about a lot of things that have been on our respective minds, things that will reveal themselves in good time, i suppose. it was amazingly good for me, though, is i guess all i really wanted to say.

... choose thoughtfully and grow into the choice with a sigh ...

i haven't read that gem of thoughtfulness in a long time - it just popped into my head. mrs. ed, i miss you... i guess i should tell you that.

and this is utterly pointless, but i guess the only real reason i opened this text box is to say this:

you haven't updated in three weeks and your name no longer appears on my buddy window. i think i would have wanted to keep that door open a little while longer, hold on to the possibility that we might ever be anything again in any capacity... but when i'm truthful - and i was tonight - i know that i really just wanted to be updated on your life without ever actually having to be involved in it. i need to finally stop being so unfair to you, so i will. so i won't wait every day for your name to appear. you're deleted but not blocked... the door is closed, but not locked.

(an unfortunate rhyme.)

(at least i refrained from saying 'buddy window of opportunity.')

...sigh.