i probably shouldn't be writing this when i have the chance to if not get ahead on sleep, then at least keep it even. but there are a million things floating around in my silly little head, i have to get at least two down here.

first what's weighing heavily on many minds tonight, the inexorable push toward war. i haven't said much about this here because i feel i don't have anything interesting to say: just your average liberal objections. (a phrase that's probably offensive to everyone, but you understand what i mean.) i'm disappointed but not surprised, and above all i'm just exhausted and depressed by the whole thing. now that there seems to be no turning back, i only hope this proceeds swiftly, with as little loss of life as possible. i don't support it, i will never look favorably upon the tactics that brought us to this point, and i don't think this was unavoidable. but that said, i suppose we can only do as well as we can given the situation, and i hope this will be as fair and painless as war can be. and now we are obligated to invest the time and money to help a new iraq.

my biggest overriding fear, though, is that now we've proven we can and will act unilaterally, in what will be deemed a 'success,' the united states will become less and less willing to cooperate with the un, nato etc and eventually withdraw from such organizations. we've already made it very clear we consider such alliances obsolete and a road block to our national interests. i don't know how grounded in reality the thought is, but it turns my stomach. if such a thing were to happen... i know i'm angry and irrational right now, but i don't think this is an empty threat: i would leave this country. canada's close enough i wouldn't be so far away from my family. there, i just looked it up, there's a university in toronto that offers the ma and phd in women's studies.

i'm being silly. but my leaders are being stupid. (when will bush's advisors teach him how to say 'nuclear'?)

ah, i am tired, after all. other happier subjects tomorrow. until then, good thoughts coming your way, whether or not we agree.

love to all.

lauren.

alliances and multilateral institutions can multiply the strength of freedom-loving nations. the us is committed to lasting institutions like the un, the wto and nato as well as other long-standing alliances.... in all cases, international obligations are to be taken seriously. they are not to be undertaken symbolically to rally support for an ideal without futhering its attainment.
- someone remind bush he 'wrote' this but a few months ago.