a response to cheryl's story... (it's kinda dumb.)

this is the story of a girl recovering from blind idealism and hopeless romanticism. she lived her whole life in the midst of fairytales. she imagined herself the heroine of every great romance - worthy and true, strong and intelligent. she fought hard to uphold her principles, and won the love of a good man in the end. though she didn't know it then, these fantasies served her better than any real romance could.

then the day came when she had to grow up and create a life for herself. she was an adult; she had to put away her childish daydreams. she was frightened at first, for she did not know how to build a life on her own. she was lonely, but she was resilient. she climbed out of the holes she dug for herself and fell back in again. she couldn't believe that she could simply walk away from them. she was lonely; she was blind.

many men loved her and courted her throughout her young life. before, she ignored them and kindly refused their advances. now, she can no longer afford to be so flighty. outside her fairytale world, she has the gift and the burden of truly feeling, and the knowledge that others truly feel for her. she is grateful for and flattered by their attention; she also feels responsible for it.

she regrets the offers of love she has rejected all these years. she sees others so happily in love, and she knows she wants this, too. her stories told her to wait for the right man, but they also promised he would come to her swiftly. she waited and waited, but her chivalric knight would not come. she began to doubt that he ever would; she began to doubt that anyone could ever inspire such love in her. but what she lacked in inspiration she made up for in determination. she decided to be in love. she was prepared to fall into the deepest hole she could find, so far down the sun became a distant memory.

she resolved to promise herself to the very next man who offered her his heart. but to her great surprise, she was soon met with not one profession of love, but two. both men were kind-hearted and meant well by her. the first was not handsome but very rich. he did not love her truly but enjoyed her company; they got along well together and formed a deep friendship. he could offer her the world: travel to exotic places, the best clothes and possessions money could buy, a magnificent house. but he could not offer her love. the second man loved her passionately, and he was also very handsome. the trouble was, he was poor. he loved her dearly and would have given her everything he had, but she doubted if that was enough.

she knew in her heart that she did not love either man. yet she liked both well and didn't find the prospect of a life with either altogether unpleasant. she believed that no matter what she chose she would be comfortable and cared for, either financially or emotionally. she didn't see how she could lose; it was only a matter of deciding which of the two attractive options were better.

as she spent more time with these two men, however, she discovered something was amiss. she went through the motions of courtship with each, dating, kissing, saying the words. she acted the part brilliantly; she did everything the heroines in her favorite tales did, and her suitors responded as they should. seemingly, she had everything she had ever wanted, with not one but two men. it was the perfect play, a beautiful deception. she nearly succeeded in fooling herself, the act was so good. but she began to see a glimpse of the sun again; she knew her hole was empty. she understood that she was now lonlier than she had ever been in her life.

she surprised even herself with her decision. she told both men that she could not marry them because she did not love them and knew she never would. their offers were generous and tempting, yet still not enough for her. she wasn't sure if she was capable of love or if it truly existed, but she refused to accept anything less. she could not build a life on lies or trifles; she refused to accept anything less than what she was worth. and she was worth the love she saw in stories, and if it was unreachable, she would have nothing.

she was empowered by this resolution, and realized for the first time that she didn't need anything or anyone. she understood what she was worth as a person, and knew that she did not need the love or support of a man to define her or to fit in this world. she no longer envied the happy couples she saw before her, but almost pitied them: did they really know what it meant to love? were they only caught up in a desperate act as she had been? love was a fleeting thing, but she knew she could depend on herself. she no longer yearned for love, and she wondered if she even wanted it anymore. she discovered her worth inside herself, apart from fairytales and men. resolved, she dusted herself and walked away forever.