this is not going to be an interesting entry, because i am about to list for you the reasons why i am happy.

(i still believe unhappiness is more interesting, but i'm over believing that makes it preferable. oh yes, i'd rather feel good and write like a dud, you know it.)

tonight i went running for the second time this summer and forced myself to go as far as i could, as fast as i could. probably not the smartest approach as out of shape as i am, but i wanted to see. i wouldn't let myself stop - i kept setting goals and surpassing them - surprising myself and setting a new challenge. oh how i wanted to quit before the last challenge. i mentally abused myself into finishing: you're completely worthless if you can't do these last two blocks; this proves you're lazy and stupid and everything you don't want to believe. so i did it! i wheezed probably a mile in total at a decent clip, paid for it for about ten minutes, and have felt amazingly wonderful ever since.

and so i figured, if i can do that, submitting a gender paper that has been taking me waaay too long should be nothing to me now. so i knocked that one way out. good stuff, onto a sixth page of it in all. and when five short papers equal one final eight-page paper in weight, i'd say that's pretty damn impressive. i really and truly rule.

i'm also completely jazzed about my tattoo. and if i have the money, when we take our initial trip to columbus to scope out places, i think i want to get my ears pierced right. yes, finally get those lobes pierced, get a tattoo, maybe a cartilage piercing... in five years you know i'm going to have so much metal and ink on my body it won't even be funny. (or perhaps, more to the point, it very much will be.)

(i guess i still haven't decided about what image i mean to create, but aside from any deeper meanings, i am really fascinated with various artful body mutilations. it's enough, tonight.)

and i'm definitely wearing a happy humanist around my neck, though sadly the car emblem is way too big for any normal location on my car.

and harry potter V will be in my hands tomorrow - aah, today! - i only hope it arrives before i leave for work! tomorrow i am in the office and on the shift where i could read half the time. needless, it would work out reeeally well...

and i got a revised fafsa efc, which is still under $1000. (prove me wrong, mc, i'm waiting.)

the latest money-making scheme is going well,

and i have schezuan broccoli waiting for me in the fridge.

ignore the fact that my mom is convinced i don't love her and this is pretty much your quintessential lauren upswing.

i feel fine enough, i guess, considering everything's a mess.
barenaked ladies