this time last night, i was standing on the shoulder of route eight, shivering in the drizzling rain and high winds, conferring with strangers on the best means to transport my incapacitated car back home. it all seems far too surreal now to have happened only 24 hours ago.

i was driving home from willoughby after visiting with the family for mother's day. the route i followed was completely closed and i didn't follow the detour correctly. so instead of turning around to the roads i knew my way on, i thought it would be a good idea to keep heading west to cleveland and figured i'd meet up with 77 south there. knowing i had about an eighth of a tank left and $0 in my bank account or on my credit card to refuel.

well, i didn't find 77, and i was well outside of cleveland before i realized i never would. so i kept going until i met up with a state route heading south. which ended up taking me all the way to berea before i lost the route entirely. i have zero sense of direction. i drove aimlessly for about half an hour, still not having the sense to simply retrace my path in reverse. finally, i came to 480. i knew that met up with one route or another near home and headed back east. happily, it did meet up with 77, and an hour and a half off my course i headed for home.

all was well till i got to route 8. anyone who's ever travelled on 8 knows that it's always (always) under construction for one reason or another, and at the moment three or four exits on either side are completely shut down. and late at night, you can't even merge onto 8 from 77 south. so i was forced to take another detour, which like most detours in my experience, rarely make sense to the end. driving through unfamiliar parts of downtown akron, i got so turned around when i finally found route 8 again i was dumb enough to get on going the wrong direction.

so by the time i turn around to go north on 8, my gas tank was registering well below the empty mark. i should have taken the overdraft fee, shouldn't take those kinds of chances on the road. i know, but i'm still driven by that youthful assumption that nothing bad will ever happen to me.

i've always wondered what it would feel like, what would happen, if your car completely ran out of gas. nothing too remarkable, actually. over the course of about a mile, it started slowing down.. 50.. 45.. no matter how hard you push the gas pedal, there's no response. i kept driving, operating on this delusional fantasy that somehow my car would miraculously recover. at about 20 mph my faint grasp on reality finally kicked in and in the heavy construction i started looking for a good place to pull over. not really finding one, i stopped when my car told me i had to stop. the battery light flashed ominously, and that was that. i ended up at the bottom of the perkins street on-ramp, hanging out into the lane a little bit, but in no real danger of being hit (i hoped).

so if all that doesn't make me look stupid enough, here's the rest of my predicament: my cell phone is out of minutes. i don't have road flares. didn't have any viable means of getting home, and i still had no form of payment for a gas can. with no real plan in mind, i scrounged up enough change to make one phone call, put on my blinkers, grabbed my purse, locked the car and started walking up the on-ramp, hoping to find a pay phone nearby.

i wasn't halfway up the ramp when the first car that started down it was kind enough to stop and see if i needed help. it was a middle-aged man alone in a truck, coming from downtown akron. i don't know if i can stress to you enough just how distrustful of strangers i typically am. i tend to think the worst of people; i tend to think people are going to hurt you if they have the opportunity. but either the rain or my flustered state of my mind or my lack of a decent alternative led me to tell this stranger what had happened and to accept when he offered a ride to the nearest gas station or to my home.

he was an incredibly nice man. he even offered to take me back to his house where he had a gas can, refuel my car and see me safely on my way. though he seemed kind and genuinely helpful i was still somewhat nervous to be alone with him at all and declined that offer. i had him drive me home instead, where i figured i could sort out a rational plan with my mother. i must have apologized and thanked him thirty times each, but there was no way i could express my gratitude. what i would have done had he not stopped, i'll never know.

so armed with our gas can, i set out on route 8 to recover my car with my mom and brother. the thing is, though, my mom can't drive on freeways. she has panic attacks. so i tried to find a good place to leave her car near that on-ramp, but with all the construction and closed exits i found this nearly impossible, got lost several times, and by the time i got to the top of the perkins street entrance i couldn't find a decent spot. this whole time my mom is screaming at me because she overreacts to everything, while i'm trying to stay calm and think straight, obviously with little success. finally, i became so exhausted from her yelling and not understanding my suggestions that i decided to just drive home and call a tow truck to pick up my car.

they said i'd have to be there with the car in order for them to tow it. so steven and i headed off to meet them while mom stayed at home to answer the phone if they called back. well, it took me nearly half an hour to get back to my car. i finally understood why i'd had such a difficult time finding it: there were two white cars broken down on rt 8, and seeing them from the other side of the highway, i didn't realize that the first one was not mine. i waited for the tow truck for a few minutes once i finally got there, but decided they either came and left, or thought the other car was me. i drove to sheetz to call the company back, couldn't find their number in the phone book, went back to my car to wait, went back to sheetz to call a second tow truck. utter craziness for a full hour.

i finally returned back to my car to wait for the second company, which i had given the proper directions to and i promised to meet in ten minutes. the truck was there before i was, and a nice man met me in the pouring rain. he told me he could tow it for $45, or give me gas for $25. obviously, all i needed was gas, but with two cars and now only one driver there was no way i could get it home, so i'd really have to tow it. but either way i was really out of luck - i could only pay with a check with the intention of depositing money the next day to cover it, but he couldn't accept a check that late at night.

so he told me he'd give me the gas for free. he was so amazingly sweet. i thanked him but told him i still had a problem there, because i was driving two cars. i waffled over my options for a couple minutes while he tried every suggestion he could think of, saying several times, 'i'm just trying to help you.'

then another car pulled over, a man who turned out to be from the construction company, laying down barrels for the next morning's work. he told me he saw my car before and was going to try to help me, but i was gone before he could get to me. i told him the whole story and what my problem now was, and he told me i could park one car in the construction lot right across the street for the night. no one would bother it there, it wouldn't inconvenience anyone. again, an incredibly nice stranger going completely out of his way to help me.

so, that's what i did. i drove mom's car around and parked it in the lot, walked down the ramp, did the same with mine, took everything valuable with me, and took mom's car home. all in all a crazy three-hour ordeal, through rain and a high wind advisory, putting my family through hell, and inconveniencing kind strangers, all of which could have been completely avoided if i wasn't such a dumbass.

i swore up and down to my mother that i had learned valuable lessons. that i would always make sure i had enough gas. that i always carried some cash on me. that when i had the money, i would buy minutes for my cell phone and get emergency gear for my car. that i would get organized - know where important paperwork and cards are at all times, all that responsibility shit most people my age learned how to deal with long ago.

i did learn those lessons; those things will change. but more important, i think, are the lessons i didn't tell her about. those three men in particular, as well as the guy at sheetz who helped me with the phone book, the guy from the first towing company who said he'd forget i ever called, the police who didn't ticket my badly-parked car, the drivers who didn't hit it, and the residents who didn't break into it, were all incredibly kind and helpful to me. i'll never get over how much these complete strangers did for me: they helped me through a situation i didn't really know how to deal with, and somehow i ended up not paying a cent. i did nothing to deserve it and they got nothing out of it. the way things turned out, and the way they treated me, absolutely amaze me.

i don't believe in this sort of thing and i usually don't find the sentimentality of it appealing, but i'll say it and believe it anyway: these people are my everday angels. i could not have done it myself. my faith in humanity is absolutely restored. this alone is enough to change my mind about the intentions and motives of people: i will not be suspicious anymore, i will not be afraid. i will trust strangers until given a reason to feel otherwise - i will live by my long-spoken belief that most people are inherently good. and whenever i can, i will give the kindness i received last night back to people who can benefit from my help. i may not know any of those men's names, i may not be able to contact them and say a proper thank you. but if i can't pay them back, i will pay it forward. corny as it may be, last night did change my life.

now it's hard to believe all that happened at all. now it feels like a bad dream, a weird dream, and a good dream all wrapped up together in a long, fitful night of sleep. but it was real, and i won't forget it, ever. i won't forget them, ever. and honestly, it was one of the best nights of my life.

that's when you knew this world can't be saved, only discovered. and you knew things could be different than before. and you will not be alone anymore.

(craptastic writing alert! wlv count: 30 was, 20 is, 2 were, 9 are.

apologies to all who wince at this but know the pain.)