I always did think I would come back here, but by now I know I won't, not ever. We had some good times, dland & buddies...

...the mystical side of this solitude;
how it is not oneself but something
in the universe that one’s left with.
It is this that is frightening & exciting
in the midst of my profound gloom,
depression, boredom, whatever it is:
one sees a fin passing far out.