So Phyllis Schlafly, the woman who takes immense pride in almost single-handedly defeating the ERA and claims feminists invented spousal rape, has come and gone.

The mall is still covered in chalk, beseeching the "open-minded" to come hear her speak, calling her a "true patriot," and proclaiming "it's about time" we had a conservative speaker on campus. I hope many conservatives in the audience were mortified that this radical, bigoted woman claimed to represent their views. But the laughter at her vicious jokes and the applause at her "provocative" comments suggested otherwise.

Conservatism and feminism are not inherently incompatible. Sandra Day O'Connor is a testament to that. But she paints it as the defining battle of modern American history, where all feminists are radical, baby-killing lesbian separatists and all conservatives are, one supposes, her ideological facsimile. It is just not that black and white.

Some of her more profoundly asinine conclusions:

- America will not tolerate gay marriage. The very thought is somehow offensive to her right to marriage.

- Spousal rape is fiction. Husbands are entitled to sex whenever they want. Indeed, "that's what marriage is all about."

- All Arab men are terrorists. She will concede Oklahoma City is the one exception.

- Simone de Beauvoir was never married and thus has no right to speak about marriage. She lived as her boyfriend's servant.

- We can solve all the problems of working mothers by shutting our borders to immigrants.

- Feminism is incompatible with happiness. Feminists insist life is unfair and insist upon making themselves miserable when, in fact, American women are the most privileged class of people who have ever walked the Earth.

- The only thing female firefighters are good for is rescuing kittens from trees.

- Women, you do have a biological clock, so you'd better get cracking on those babies. Get an education by all means, as a back-up or a "hobby," but babies come first. Or else you're self-serving and selfish.

This woman, who is so quick to accuse feminists of getting government and its "gestapo" programs involved in our lives is the first to demand government ban pornography and put God in the school system. And even more infuriating than trying to put the government in between me and her, her entire purpose is to tell me, and every other person her message reaches, how we should live our lives.

Phyllis, I don't want to have babies. I'm not operating under any fantasy that tells me I can put it off and have babies when I'm 65. And if one day I change my mind, wish I'd had children and find it's too late, I'm not going to blame Gloria Steinem. It's my choice, with implications I'm well aware of. I don't need to hear that I'm going to be unhappy for the rest of my life because I'm a "bitter, barren feminist." I know I'll be unhappy as a mother.

Phyllis, you have no right to tell women who wish to serve in the military, in dangerous positions if they choose, that they cannot. Their genitals do not make them any less capable of fighting on the front lines. I don't want to do it because I don't believe any combat we're involved in is right; you don't want to do it because you think your sex is weak. But don't tell other women they don't have a right to. And by the way, it is no harder on a child to lose a mother than to lose a father. Why aren't you concerned that the Pentagon isn't releasing statistics about how many men with two-year-old children are fighting?

Phyllis, if people who are not married cannot comment about marriage, then you cannot comment about the validity of other people's relationships and arrangements. De Beauvoir and Sartre had about the most equal, intellectual relationship I can think of; there might have been elements that you do not agree with personally and morally, but you are in no position to judge. Moreover, any two people who love one another are no better and no worse than any other two people who love one another. You don't know anything about equality and love. Your only concern is tradition, an ignorant refusal to question what your mother told you, what your husband told you, and what your short-sighted pride continues to echo.

The woman is capable of making me do the one thing I want least to do: hate. She came to this campus to foster hate. Those who agree with her have more hatred in their hearts for women, gays and immigrants, and those who don't have more hatred in their hearts for her and those who do. She is a horrible person. Nothing about her promotes love, charity, equality or Christian values. And I, for all the love and acceptance I have in my heart for every group, class and race of people, am consumed with hatred for the many willfully ignorant, blindly hateful people in the world.

Phyllis Schlafly has come and gone, and eventually she and her work will be gone for good. But her message will resonate for a long time. Her words strike a chord in many fearful, intolerant people; they will not forget her words, and they will do all they can to ensure their children will not forget her words. This is the power of hate. I will not forget either, but time can only tell how much good the knowledge will do me.