we are living in an incredibly sad, desperate, confused world. such a backwards world - if so many believe war can bring peace, if idealists are doomed to be the unhappiest of people. to borrow tom daschle's simple but fitting language, i am saddened. that it has come to this. that i no longer feel patriotic. that innocents will die. that it is for no truly sound reason. that i feel so hopelessly at odds with many of my friends and family members, and that my solidarity with others brings almost no comfort.

i am writing this from the united states of america. i am so privileged - i can do so much, i have so many opportunities. i believe so strongly in the ideals this country was founded on; i feel such pride for the accomplishments of many of my fellow americans. the most devastating part of all of this, for me, is that all that beauty and possibility is now tainted. sometimes - increasingly - i really do not want to be here. knowing that i once held the exact opposite sentiment just as strongly, fearing that feeling is gone forever, crushes me.

innocent people will die. american men and women will die. that is the reality. we will destroy a people before we rebuild them in our image. and the prayers and best wishes everyone keeps asking we send to our troops won't save or protect them, either. but i send them anyway.

everyone is emotionally charged right now. and i've grown tired of fighting about the legitimacy and necessity of this. i'm tired and i'm sad, and for all my beloved privilege, i'm utterly powerless. all we can do is watch and wait for the word to come.

and a new day will come, too. (so i remain an idealist.) we may repair our relations with the un and the world. iraq may be free and grow to flourish. we may elect a new president. we may finally learn that war is not the answer. or, failing all that, i may move to the netherlands.

we are in control of our choices, always. we must do what we feel is right.

Of the 66 percent who said they approve of Bush's decision, 21 percent said they were not sure it was the right thing to do, but they supported the president regardless.
and we must abolish this 21%.