Just when I'm ready to convince myself to stop sucking, I get an A+ on a Mr. Dr. O' exam and find out my lab report isn't due until next week.

I wish I had standards for the sake of having standards. I wish I didn't always just get by.

When people ask me how things are, lately the only truthful but not whiny thing I can say is: I've reached that point in the semester. Almost everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Less than two months of school left. I've screwed myself over again.

And yet, no I haven't. No matter how little I do, it appears I will always earn 97%s for Mr. Dr. O' and I will always be the first person he calls on in class. No matter how long I put them off, Dr. K. will continue to give me unqualified 100%s on my mindless papers, with her only comment being "ca-ching!" No matter how many times I miss quiz questions in zoology, he will continue to reuse them, I will continue to not look them up though I expect them, leave the blanks blank, and maintain my A in the class.

I'm tired of myself, I'm tired of my classes, I'm tired of everyone, and all I'd have to do to stop feeling this way is finally earn my 4.0 semester.

But nothing will stop me from sleeping, going to Hortons, reading unassigned Kristeva and Barthes, and making idiotic webpages. I won't stop myself from feeling this way.

And I'm a jerk for even complaining about any of this.