um, at some point tonight, lani and i were inspired to fill out surveys. upon completion, i find such enthusiasm inexplicable. well, carry on, then.

do you type really fast? - yes, even my mother, who once typed upwards of 80wpm thinks so. yes i rule.

does it annoy people who are around you (like in the library)? - i think most people are unspeakably impressed by it.

do you/did you like high school? - dear lord no.

how old are you? - 21 in a little over a month. i'll be able to bring my own beverage! rock.

do you know anyone who has the same birthday as you? if so name them - there was a total sluthole named nicole from high school. and deidre hall, who plays marlena on days of our lives, lol.

favorite pen color - blue. exclusively.

what word do you constantly misspell when typing? - i misspell nothing! htat, sometimes.

do you have trees in your yard? - um, one i think.

name one comedian that everyone thinks is funny but you absolutely cannot stand - i can't think of any... i don't like comedians who only resort to crude jokes, and most people probably would. ellen degeneres rules.

name one director you hate and tell why - wow. i don't care.

do you like tim burton? - not really, a little too dark and gothic for me.

what annoys you more than anything? - people. all people. almost indiscriminately.

tell me about the weirdest pair of socks you own - um, i don't think i have weird ones, i only have a few that aren't white. keds socks are pretty weird.

if you woke up tomorrow morning as the opposite sex, what would you do first? - masturbate. no, just kidding, once the initial shock wore off i'd carry on business as usual, i don't think my genitals determine who i am.

did you read fear street books? - no.

how about sweet valley high? - no.

babysitter's club? the boxcar children? - a few of each.

goosebumps? - some

favorite show on nickelodeon (can be from the late 80's/early 90's when nick was good) - no.

did you watch are you afraid of the dark? - maybe four times.

did zeebo the clown scare you? - who?

where do you vacation every summer? - do that many people have a vacay home?

do you like the beach? - not really. i don't know how to swim, and i'm no sunbather.

do you tan or burn easily? - burn.

do you make up your own words and lingo? if so tell me about it - um... less than i used to probably... i say 'rock' a lot, but that's a word all by itself, i suppose.

do you eat lots of tv dinners? - never.

favorite hot pocket flavor - are any of them meatless?

if you could make one celebrity magically disappear, who would it be? -

um.. eminem maybe.

how is life treating you? - routinely.

do people like you? - probably more than i like people.

what do you think it is that makes the "popular" people popular? - conformity. skimpy clothing for girls; spitting, evidently, for guys.

what do you wear the most: jeans, cords, dickies, khakis, skirts, or shorts? - jeans.

are you using a pc or mac? - pc.

do you like chunky peanut butter? - lately i have had such a taste for it, but i don't think i've had any in at least ten years.

what amazes you about the opposite sex? - both sexes appall me; i do not believe they are opposite.

are you in love with anyone? - no. toby ziegler, maybe. ;)

do you like anyone? - no.

if so, who - everyone's dumb.

why do you like them/why are you in love with them? - no one knows how to spell 'you're.'

favorite cereal - rice crispies, probably the only one.

name a movie that makes you cry - nearly every movie... probably the biggest cry i've ever had is the remains of the day. so many.

what's something you like about the opposite sex, physically, that your friends think is odd? - about people who happen to have penises? my friends don't understand much of what i'm attracted to, particularly i can't stand muscles, and the cutest thing ever is a little bit of hair on toes.

is it true that only the good die young? - judging by the relativity of the word good and the unreliability of statistics... your question is baseless.

if so, are you going to live forever or die soon? - regardless of any determining factor, i'm so totally going to live forever.

do you live for today? - i mean to, but in practice i think i live for three months from now.

how fast can you run? - haha, not very fast. just ask my brother.

favorite band from the 60's/70's - the beatles, of course, simon and garfunkel, mamas and papas, rolling stones, grass roots, the guess who... i didn't even touch the 70's, this will get scary if i do.

have any of your friends had kids as teenagers? - misti is pregnant, but i don't really consider her a friend anymore.

did they finish high school? - she got pregnant in the air force.

favorite 80's television show - cosby!

were you even born in the 80's? - it scares me to suddenly realize people who weren't are old enough to fill out surveys.

what year? - 1982.

have you ever taught a little kid a curse word? - hahah, no, but i am probably not morally opposed to it.

if so which one was it? -

do you think little boys are horrendously ill behaved? - yes. i hate kids. boys and girls. they're worse than people.

have you ever thrown anything at a moving car? if so, what? - lol, no!

name a villian in a movie that scared you when you were a kid - i don't know.

have you seen the original friday the thirteenth? - no. i've seen maybe two 'horror' movies in my life.

the original chucky? - no.

the original halloween? - no.

what's your favorite channel? - bravo lately, they play the west wing 24 hours a day. plus queer eye, i've begrudgingly fallen in love with it.

what do you say when you stub your toe off of the corner of the coffee table? - ow, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

what's the highest thing you've ever jumped off of and landed unharmed? -

um, probably not very high.

does it snow where you live? - yes.

if yes, do you go sled riding? - no. i'm not outdoorsy.

have you ever used anything weird, like a frisbee or a trashcan lid, for a sled? - no, i learned my lesson from chevy chase.

how many people do you know who were born in november? - um, three i can name offhand.

what month has the most people you know born in it? - one of the fall months. i don't know, or particularly care.

do holidays make you festive? - not at all. traditions are meaningless, especially (for me) when founded on religion.

magazines you subscribe to - none.

do you read the supermarket tabloids? - no, but they're funny. i love the people who will insist every word is true. (sometimes i say 'love' and clearly mean 'hate with every fibre of my being.')

have you ever smashed somebody's halloween pumpkin? - no, but someone smashed mine in my dad's truck. i have always hated people.

ever had yours smashed? - see above.

do you celebrate christmas? - with my family, i guess, but personally i don't celebrate it for it's purpose at all.

if not, do you still watch "how the grinch stole christmas" when it comes on television? - that cartoon rules all.

do you think the grinch movie starring jim carrey was a waste of money? - probably. i didn't waste mine on it.

ever had a hot teacher? - no, when i was in elementary school i thought my art teacher was hot, and in 5th grade i formed a crush for the middle school band director - when i got to middle school i told my friends, i would ask him for help with my bra, for some reason? um, luckily that never happened.

if yes, did you flirt with him/her? -

noooo.

how do you treat people you are attracted to? (this is not a stupid question; some people are immature and are mean to those they like) - i tend to ignore them, in order that they never decipher my feelings, and gripe about it forevermore. well, i used to do this; i haven't liked anyone in a while now, but i'd probably be a bit more straightforward.

what do you want for your birthday this year? - hmm, i want to build up my book collection, ummm... wow, i really don't know.

have you ever egged somebody's house? -

no but my high school gang ruled at tping. we were the masters. bow down.

has someone ever egged yours? - no.

do we all go a little mad sometimes? - do you need to ask?

what pisses you off more than anything in the world? - people.

do you still go trick or treating? - no.

do you believe in santa claus? - i don't believe in anything that defies reason.

have you ever worked in a supermarket? - i worked at marc's, a discount grocery store, in customer service, and learned to hate trashy people. i worked at a gourmet food market, in catering, and learned to hate haughty rich people. everyone sucks.

how about a restaurant? - no.

if yes, do you agree with me when i say that those are the two worst establishments to work in? - yes. aside from being a poopsmith.

what color is your bedspread? - yellow/blue reversible.

do your eyes change colors? - some people say so. they're generally grey blue.

do you believe that we walked on the moon? - yes freaking.

do you live by yourself? - naw, i live with lani in the honors dorm.

have you ever gotten a computer virus? - no.

if so, what was it and how did you get rid of it? -

describe your junior high/middle school gym teacher - i had a different one each year. the men were fond of telling me to 'eat my wheaties.' stupid misogynistic bastards, you will always be unhappy and alone. stop looking at the nymph girls you perverts.

how do you react when someone is talking to you --up in your face-- and they have really bad breath? - hold my breath, back away.

what was your first date like? - the one with my best friend's brother? he smelled and kept trying to kiss me, and it was more like trying to date my own brother. disgusting.

did you go/are you going to the prom? -

yes, i went with a bunch of my girlfriends stag, and it was so fun.

if you've already gone, was it good or bad? explain why - it was great.

do you get uneasy when you see a person of a different color than you walking down the same street as you in the middle of the night? - no.

if yes, do you think that makes you racist? - while this doesn't make a person purposefully racist, it is an unconscious reaction based on racism and societal stereotypes.

are you a vegetarian? - yes, actually.

how about vegan? - i want to be.

if no to both, do you think you could be? - it would be very hard for me to be vegan, i love mayo and cheese, but i will when i can cook for myself.

have you ever given up a certain type of food? if so, what was it and why did you do it? - other than vegetarianism, no.

spit out a random song lyric for me. make sure you tell me the name of the song and who sings it! - 'an acoustic guitar doesn't mean you're a wuss.' ben lee, my guitar

who does the chores around your house? - at home, pretty much mom, here, lani and i rarely take care of that stuff, but when we do we both do.

what movie could you watch a million times and never get tired of? - i get tired of anything i see/hear &c too much.

what movie have you watched a million times, and you still laugh at the jokes? - usually if i've seen a movie more than twice, it can no longer make me laugh - or cry, or anything else.

what movie do you hope you never see again? - the league of extraordinary gentlemen.

have you ever hugged a stuffed animal or pillow and pretended that it was your significant other, or someone you had a crush on, and then someone caught you talking to it, and stroking its soft, fuzzy fur, and laughed at you and told the whole school? - well, i will admit every night i sleep with my pillow vertical rather than horizontal. i don't kiss, stroke or talk to it, but i suppose i put my arm around it as i would another person.

do you drive? - yes, though i hate to move my car now and risk losing my spot. stupid new parking regulations.

if so, do you like to drive at night or in the day time? - i love to drive anytime, driving is the greatest stress reliever ever.

has anyone ever called you a bitch? - my brother and benjamin. those are the only two i can think of. i'm sure others have thought it and said it behind my back. i don't care.

has anyone ever called you an asshole? -probably, but for some reason this one seems like it would be more in jest. maybe because i use the word all the time.

are you a bitch/asshole? - i know i can be.

what's the first thing you do when you get home from school/work? - check diaryland.

favorite pop tart flavor - i don't like them at all really, but s'mores probably.

do you play any musical instruments? if so, what? - i used to play clarinet; i want to learn guitar.

have you ever built a snowman? - once i spent an entire afternoon building a massive snow fort with my dad. good times.

did you cry when it melted, or when the kid next door knocked its head off with a shovel? - no.

what's your religion? - agnostic - atheist really, in that i don't believe in any god that created us in "his" image or gives a damn about humans, but agnostic in that i'm always searching for truth.

do you try to force it on other people? - no, though i know i still judge very religious people too harshly - i can be too opinionated, perhaps even closed-minded on this issue. like everyone else, i believe i'm right. but in theory i try to be open to diversity of thought.

do you knock on people's doors at 7 a.m. on saturdays, trying to give them a pamphlet and tell them about the lord, or ask random people at the mall if they’ve been saved, yet you think that doesn’t count as forcing religion, you son of a bitch? - obviously not.

have you ever been flipping channels late at night and caught a glimpse of some porn on skinemax? - oh, who hasn't tried to decipher scrambled porn? come on!

if so, did you watch it? don't say no, i know you did - i know i did too. it was always scrambled though, never saw the stuff.

what's the code word or phrase you and your friends use for the word SEX? - um, we're at least mature enough to say 'sex,' i think. though i will admit to an array of juvenile gestures to signify said act.

is sex an uncomfortable topic for you? - not at all, though i really have little experience to speak of.

what is the one thing in the world that just looking at it makes you vomit, or come close to it? - i don't think i've ever seen anything that has made me vomit, or come close. the closest i can think of is animal carcasses on the road. if i were ever up close to a dead and very bloody animal or human body, i probably would vomit.

when other people vomit, does it make you sick? - well it's not attractive.

do your clothes match? - i guess. i don't really care if they do.

what are you wearing right now? - jeans, a black tank, and the last wool sweater i can't bring myself to discard.

did you ever have those fisher price roller skates that go over top of your shoes? - i think so...

did you have a bike with a banana seat? - a what?

could you ride it? - i don't know...

have you lived in the same house your entire life? - no.

what’s the weirdest thing you’ve lived next to? - ? james and chaz?

who is the ugliest person you’ve ever seen? - oh, everyone is beautiful in his or her own way... hahaha....

do you watch talk shows? - no, ellen degeneres sometimes, though that's not really a "talk show"

do you think miss cleo is full of shit? - um yeah.

if not, have you called her and wasted your money, you idiot? - no, you fucking retarded bastard whore.

what are your thoughts on keeping animals in captivity? - it's wrong to keep wild animals.

what do you think of all the “superstores” that are popping up everywhere? (super walmart, super k-mart, super target)? - i refuse to shop at wal*mart. as much as possible i shop as small as possible.

what do you think of pop music? - mindless.

tell me something i don’t know - members the phylum cnidaria are often hosts to endosymbionts.