A very informative trip to Tim Hortons:

"Hot as a crotch" is a pop culture catchphrase you're all missing out on. The natural extension being, "Hot as a cup of coffee in my crotch."

If you try to take your crotch's temperature by putting it in your panties parallel to the stuff, it's going to get sucked up into the leeway.

Man would it be frustrating to be psychic only about donuts.

Heavenly do-gooders need not be thanked.

Glo-nuts: for the really lazy midnight snackers, packing a year's supply of phosphorus in each serving!

I would like to eat glo-nuts out of someone's ass with a cup of coffee in my crotch.

Plus other sexual deviances I'm not supposed to mention.

Also, there is no sexual deviance.

Except, rape is wrong! Imagine.

Everybody is attracted to everybody, even if on the deepest, darkest of levels. Yes, even sheep and Gilman Mary. Face it.

Anything else, class?