I can't say that I sympathize with these girls, exactly. No, truthfully, the sites are nothing but destructive, and I personally condemn them. But my thoughts about them before actually spending hours perusing them were much more unilateral. It's hard to explain how I feel about them without sounding like I condone them, but let me try, point by point.

- Yes, there are some pro webmasters who vehemently, proactively assert the rightness of anorexia. That believe it is a 'lifestyle,' not a disease. A very, very small minority actually do something close to recruiting (there is a section on one site called 'The Pro-Ana University'). Trust me when I say such site owners represent the vast minority of the pro-ana movement.

- Most of the sites, surprisingly, contain medical definitions of anorexia nervosa and treat it as a disease. Though they do not feel compelled to fight this disease, they acknowledge the potential risk factors of such practices and state that it can even lead to death. Most state very clearly that not anyone can become anorexic. They believe it is a psychological affliction. But they prefer to suffer under it rather than fight it.

- Yes, all the sites contain tips and tricks and 'thinspiration' pages. This is the despicable part. And alarmingly, alongside real scientific facts, all the sites list authoritative-sounding 'safe foods' and dietary advice which to an uninformed and desperate girl might sound healthy. I'm not saying anything on here is sound reasoning. One webmaster asserts you can live safely on 500-800 calories a day.

- The thing is this. Before pro-ana, girls who suffered from the disease suffered in silence and isolation. There is a definite trade-off here. I'm not saying it's a good one. In place of isolation pro-ana gives these girls a sense of community, and for many of them this is the first time they have felt understood and accepted. It gives them a sense of power and belonging. Don't doubt for a moment that even though they are proud of the control they have over their bodies that they are still miserable. Of course they are. But I think the knowledge that they are suffering together helps them. (Which is sick and destructive and I am not in any way implying this is good for them.)

- They all realize that what they are doing could kill them. But they are so miserable they don't care. I have read many statements along the lines of 'I may die sooner rather than later but at least I will be able to live with myself.' Of course, whether they realize it or not, enough will never be enough, there will never be 'thin enough,' losing weight alone will not relieve their profound misery. They know what they're chancing. They take a calculated risk. But they don't care.

- They don't do this by choice. No one 'wants' to be anorexic. Lots of young girls diet, many more periodically deny themselves food, but by choice no one suffers from the extremes of anorexia. I don't think anyone who doesn't actually have anorexia can understand the pathology. It's not just about being thin. It's not just about being cool. It is a pathology. And the pro-ana movement is a way for them to deal with it.

- Knowing you suffer from a disease doesn't necessarily give you the power to change it, or seek help. They think they are doing something to help themselves through pro-ana. Their thought process is completely distorted. They now have something to feel proud about, they have a goal to work toward. A recent study shows 'perfectionists' are more likely to be anorexic. It is a distorted sense of perfection, so yes, losing the weight gives them a sense of pride. Failure demands punishment. They are ill. But I don't think knowing they're anorexic yet continuing to fall into the cycle again and again makes them fakers.

I find the subject, this argument, exhausting, because obviously I don't agree with the sentiment behind pro-ana sites and I am disturbed by their influence. At the same time I feel great sympathy for these girls. At the same time I agree with those who take a harder stance on the issue. Listen, I completely agree. I think these sites should be banned from webspace. But the thing is, these girls need help not scorn.

And it deeply troubles me that the only reaction and feedback they get is hate mail. Many of the sites post this feedback and laugh at it. One site posts feedback and answers honestly, not hatefully or persuasively. One asshole, after raving on and on about how these girls are evil and going to hell, asserts that no one thinks these girls are beautiful when they look like skeletons. The site owner responds, very calmly and I think truthfully, that yes, that is what people find beautiful; just look at any beauty magazine.

The issue is the message we are sending these young women, the images we bombard them with every day. That is the image of beauty we are asking them to aspire to. Yes, they are sick, but so is the pervasive beauty culture. That is the root of it. That is what makes girls think they need to go to extremes long before they do a Google search that leads them to pro-ana websites. Rather than turning our backs on these girls, I think we need to do something about the source of the problem.

That's all.