And here I am doing the things I "always" do: buying strippenkarts for late buses to my flat, throwing out moldy and rotten food, sleeping in a room of my own, spending hours on a Sunday afternoon at a computer lab.

Like this is routine! My god, I'm still in Europe.

I'm on this weird low after my trip to England (amazing; revelatory). The ease with which I resume my "ordinary" life almost makes me wonder if it really happened at all.

I start two new classes tomorrow. Two amazing classes, both taught by THE women's studies guru in the Netherlands, which, as the first substantive academic forays into subjects I am completely devoted to, I've decided will prove to me whether a life of such academic forays is really for me or not.

And it is irrevocably spring and I have cheap weekend trips vaguely planned. One thing I learned over spring break is just how much I love to just walk, walk, walk - therefore all I really need is train fare to new scenery.

So I am no less excited about everything than I was ten days ago. I have never at any point in my life been happier or more comfortable with myself. The questions are not pressing anymore. I am. I am fine.

But still, there is this silly let-down. And only one short meaningful email awaited me. Because I so easily forget the three new cards back at my flat. And despite not needing a coat, it is grey. And and. Whatever.

Hopefully my mom will call me tonight; a pineapple pizza and garlic bread are scheduled to arrive at my flat in 45 minutes. Books, music. If I go the rest of the day without meeting certain flat mates, and if no one is blasting stupid dance music, the day will yet be a good one.

Anyway, I will elaborate on England in the near future. This was mostly to say I'm back, and as always, weird.