Today was the final day of orientation activities -- more of a social introduction. I've been getting to know a lot of the other international students, which is, honestly, wearying -- I do hate the getting-to-know-you phase of relationships, and once the obvious questions are exhausted, I know no one cares what subjects my flatmates study. So that sort of thing does get a bit ridiculous, but under the surface I can tell I'm meeting a lot of really cool people.

Daniela from Austria looks like Nina on 24, but is significantly nicer.

Sebastian from Germany has been in my group twice now -- he is soft-spoken and tremendously nice, and now is either flirting with me or specially making an effort to be friends with me, my sense for that is off lately, but he is great.

Regina from Germany, she looks sort of aloof and cold at first but really I think she's sort of like me -- really friendly once you approach her -- we talked for a long time about travel plans.

AJ from Norway -- really nice girl

Alice, a med student from the US -- exhaustingly perky, never lets the conversation lull

Katke, we bonded over a blindfolded gingerbread eating contest

Peré and Teresa -- insisted Barcelona is the best city in the world when I mentioned I wanted to visit it (who is that attached to their home town?) and live in the "Spanish ghetto"-- all the Spanish students live together and study geography

Graham, who is Texan in every possible sense

And a really nice Belgian guy who almost pulled a muscle thanking me for handing him a brochure.

Well -- I keep trying to find some center point between the hermit I'm always tempted to be, drunken escapades like last night, and ordinary friendship building exercise like today.

I have been unnaturally gregarious thus far, which is annoying and fake, yet everytime I put myself out there I have fun. But there is a certain amount of fun I can only have with a bit of alcohol in me, and that isn't right -- that's more fake still. Yes, drunk Lauren and sober Lauren are very different creatures, and that makes sober Lauren a bit nervous.

Though I was having fun I skipped out on dinner and the party. I have no doubt that, with a bit of alcohol in me, I would have had fun dancing and whatever all night long, but I'm not comfortable enough yet with anyone here to act that unreservedly and to feel that out of it yet.

And I am still not a natural partier.

This is why I prefer small parties at Beth's or mudslides and a movie with Lani and Josh.

So I just didn't want to compromise two nights in a row -- I'm much happier finishing Northanger Abbey and knitting alone, perhaps jaunting off to The Hague early tomorrow for some solitary sightseeing.

My mommy called me today! So good to hear her voice. Again, I'm ridiculously exuberant on the phone, but it probably made her feel better, to hear me sound so upbeat. I admitted last night's activities and she advised me to eat more protein -- nothing too extraordinary, just nice to talk to her. I'll take contact with the outside world anywhere I can get it -- I haven't seen, read or heard the news in a week. Who won Tuesday's primaries? I'm dying here.

(later)

My overwhelming feeling -- as I sit here alone on a Saturday night, having just finished a tome full of Jane Austen's admired with and eating applesauce out of the jar, with a kitchen of my own fully stocked, a room all my own reasonably tidy, in which I am neither lonely nor frightened, as I carry out a life I have chosen almost to the letter in a country I came to knowing no one, which in a way makes it all my own -- is one of immense (self-)satisfaction.

Tomorrow, the Hague, a day of solitude capped with a by-then welcome house meeting at a pub. Everything in proportion, yes? I shall endeavor to find an English newspaper for the train ride.