"The time had come to let go, to let go of old habits and old dreams. I'm ready to move on, to see what else is out there.

"It's one thing to say you're gonna let go. It's another to actually do it -- to loosen your grip, and let yourself fall. So when I walked into the haircutting place, I was taking a leap. But I wasn't doing it for a guy, or because of some list. I was doing it for me."

I know it must be some sort of bad omen to mark a turning point on a television show, particularly one of the few we loved together, when he called me Feliciticity, and his name is the same as the doltish college boy she was trying to forget.

Earlier tonight I was angry. And then I realized how stupid I've been. And now I know there's just no place for any of those feelings. I know the time for this has come, and I don't really need a public declaration. This is just another joyous rebirth. I won't even say it's a little late: I will love it now that it's come.

And I'm not doing it for retaliation, or because of some tv show. I'm doing it for me.

Because everyone says it's a bad idea. Except the people who say, do what you want to do. Because I'm ready to let go. Because I'm flying to Amsterdam in a month, and because my ticket will arrive in three to four days. Because I do have tremendous self-esteem, and I won't stay anywhere or keep doing anything that takes that away from me. Because I'm ready. Because I love myself. Because I love.

So I'm going to the haircutting place tomorrow, and I'm going to hack it all off. That's not going to change how I feel: I have already changed how I feel. That will mark in pictures a time that I will remember for what it is.

You don't have to understand this. And if the one person who could understand ever happens upon this, it doesn't mean I love you any less. But I need to let go.

You are you. I am me. We'll be free. Hello world.
Belle Perez