The semester is over, and I am home. It's good to be home, but strange to be away from Marietta. And it still doesn't seem real that I won't return until August.

Overall, it was a strong semester. It's not the 4.0 I wanted, but strong. I already know I have an A in my history class and an A- in zoology; I expect As in Constitution and Sex & Power; I have no idea what I'm getting in Renaissance Drama. As low as a C.

Sometime last week I declared myself "the best at sucking ever." Over the past two weeks, I wrote 44 pages without much effort. A 13-page research paper for history in 5 hours. I don't think my professor read it. I got an A. My 5+ page theater paper in one hour. Said nothing. Steve won't read it. And then there were exams -- I blew my history one away, absolutely rocked it, without studying. Crammed my way to a 100% on my zoology lab practical. Mediocre performance on Constitution, which shouldn't really hurt me.

I know I make myself out to be worse than I am. The truth is, I worked harder this semester than I ever have before. If I got an A on my history exam without studying, it's because I had worked hard in that class all semester and knew the material well. This was a strong semester for me. But still, I could have done better. Much better.

Also spent the last two weeks saying goodbye to everyone. I don't think I realize that I may never see the graduating seniors again, that it will be nine months before I see anyone else. That everything will change. And do I mind that it will? Will I miss anyone? Strangely, I was most upset to say goodbye to my bosses -- Miss Douglass said she doesn't worry about me because I have a good head on my shoulders; Mrs. Dyer said she appreciated my work ethic and hugged me. Dr. O' seemed touched that I stopped by on Friday to say goodbye, and I thought how couldn't I? All things considered, no professor on this campus has done more to help me, and I do love her.

And it still doesn't seem real to me that I won't see Lani and Josh for months. It still seems we are studying abroad together, we are going to Europe together. No, they are going to England. I am going to the Netherlands. We will perhaps see each other once in the five months we are abroad. That will be the hardest thing.

And my family. For five months, I'll only have emails and phone calls to my family. As it is, it's not at all uncommon to go five months without seeing anyone in my family but my mom, dad and brother. But those three. Yes, I will miss them terribly.

It was strange to leave the room. To see it bare in December. For some reason, I was more emotional at turning off the light and locking the door than I had been at saying goodbye to either Lani or Josh. At that moment there was no fooling myself into thinking it wouldn't be a long, long time.

But it's good to be home. Though I still have no job prospects. Though it's already somewhat annoying, though even the best parts will never compare to just watching TV with my homegirl. I had dinner with my dad last night, and seemed -- and felt -- rather upbeat about everything. Spent the rest of my night with my mother, among other things enjoying Lawson's sacred French onion chip dip. Now I have a dorm room to unpack into a closet of a bedroom. Now Steven's pestering me to go get some food with him. Now I have plenty of things to occupy my time.

I don't know, last night I had a lot more to say. And it was going to be more interestingly said. A long, wonderful semester mostly lost to these archives. But I'm never at my best looking back.