home again, home again. not officially bored yet, because i've spent my days making cookie dough and snowflake candles. yep. here are some of my other nonadventures, not in any sort of chronological order...

yesterday i called becky - so good to talk to her. i knew if i called her i'd wind up with plans for the night. sure enough she said all she had to do was pick up her sister at school and i'm all, hell yeah, let's go visit kreiner! so we did.

kreiner is my most beloved teacher. we are, without a doubt, her most beloved students. it's a great little thing. we walked in the room (and i felt better about it because she wasn't teaching, the students were just doing busy work, though i suspect in this, her last apathetic year, she isn't doing much teaching at all) and she looked up at us and just said, 'thank god.' i think she's really come to hate the profession of teaching, but having spent 12 years in that school system i can't say i blame her. but if i may say so, i think a few students have made it worthwhile. and i just love her to death. she is the personification of snarky, of strong successful female. and she's so invested in what her girls are doing with their lives. i want to live up to some standard that i expect she expects of us.

driving away from the high school i saw benjamin going the other way. he was all sprawled out in the passenger seat of his grandparents' car in a way that i find strangely unattractive. so much of what i see in him has turned to arrogance - i just can't stand it. he accuses me of changing - i think the changes in him have long since passed confidence. and moreover i think his leaving me is a way of proving his growth to himself in the way that i felt ryan fay did to me sophomore year.

nevertheless i'm still resolved to begin our 'glorious new era' when i get back to school, ie sending out the two-way journal i bought a few months ago. and when mel offered me his car last night and i tried to imagine how i would use it, knowing that the rest of my friends don't make plans as quickly as becky and i, i was left with this crazy thought of calling benjamin after school today and offering a ride to anywhere he wanted to go to talk. but that's obviously not going to happen. there's a stubborn part of me that doesn't want to be the one to reinitiate contact, and then there's the part that doesn't want to lose a perfectly good best friend again. and i don't want to go down in history as the girl who screwed him over time and again. but the stubborn often wins out.

so anyway then becky and i went back to her house and hung out. she showed me all the .wav files she has from movies, we walked the dogs, she vacuumed. :) later we went 'smas carolling with her bible study group... did i ever mention i don't believe in god? yeah so that was a little weird, but they're nice people and it was kind of fun. becky and i were like middle schoolers again, laughing at everything when it's not really funny, like a typo of whose as hose. little things, when we're together, become incredibly hilarious, and i've missed that.

the weirdest part about being home is that my asshole stepdad, hereafter referred to as asshole, is suddenly extremely nice to me. more surprisingly (read disturbingly) he talks to me, like, nonstop. if he finds one thing we have in common, like burning cds (perhaps the one thing we have in common) he will come into my room every two seconds to say one more inane sentence about cd burning and then leave, and then something else will occur to him, and he will come back, and it is moronic, and i don't know where it came from. i liked it better when i was ignored. but he's still an asshole. he still comes out of his room at 10pm growling 'you people kept me up last night and you're doing it again now and i don't appreciate it' and - that is not the most blatant evidence of assholeness, but trust me, the guy's a jerk. ugggh i wish the moog would just get rid of him already...

speaking of the moog, the reason i hate christmas is because i don't see her all month. she is the manager of the gift shop at a 'gourmet market' and works from 8am to 10pm 7 days a week. she doesn't get paid for the overtime. she is incredibly understaffed. listen to this - i was looking at her schedule and saw that the department has 574 hours budgeted and only 454 hours were scheduled. 120 hours are not being used. that's three more full-time people that they did not give her. and she takes that extra work on herself. i don't know why. she is not appreciated. she says i would do the same thing, she thinks i'm that person, and to some extent i am. but not for $10 an hour. not for that shit.

if you were wondering, i did about kill myself rearranging my room, but the ethernet cord does indeed stretch that far and i like the new look a lot. it looks more cramped, actually, but that makes it look like my room. it separates the two sides nicely. but it is altogether nice to be away from it.

yep.. nonadventures. maybe things will get more fun when i get together with the rest of the gang. or i could lose my mind and call benjamin, that'd be a story, anyway. as for today, well, i'll make some more candles and later on, if i find no better use for the car, i'll take a trip down to michael's craft store and hollywood video and maybe just drive around for a while, enjoy that freedom for once. i hope you all can find a better use for your wednesday evening :)

i know it don't make a difference to you, but oh, it sure made a difference to me. when you find me here at the end of my rope, when the head and the heart of it finally elope, you can see us off in the distance, i hope, at the other end of the telescope.
Aimee Mann