::giddy:: I finally gave a half-decent speech ... might pull off a B after all!

Stress is gone from my life! I still have a 10-page paper to do but I'm just so amused with myself that I sent a blank email to my professor as if the attached paper didn't go through so i could have another night to work on it that actually working on it is sort of fun now. Benjamin told me I'm generally regarded as an honest person, so I could get away with it :) It's so hilarious how little people know me...

Speaking of whom, I always go through these stages where I imagine myself in love with him, because every time I try to imagine myself in love with someone else he always gets in the way. I will never allow anyone else to mean as much to me, and that is a definite problem. But the last couple days have proven to me that it will never work - he is so infuriating. And he will never know me. It would be so much easier if his opinion didn't mean so much to me.

One thing he is right about, though, is that I never follow through with anything. If I could stay at one school with one program for more than a year, $100 would be mine - that is a very safe bet. I'm so, so transient. If it's not perfect I have a tendency to leave. Rather, if I'm not perfect... I don't like what I've done here and how I'm regarded so I want to leave and start again. At some point I just have to accept that I am the same person wherever I go.

So now I think that I should stay at Marietta, and what's more right now I really think I can change who I am here. I'm having all these crazy ideas in my head about joining the new cross country team we're getting next year and starting an environmental awareness club. I suddenly realized there are a lot of people here I want to make my friends. There are even nerds for me to fall in love with - though I'm quite sure there are more at Hiram ;) And Hiram, there are a lot of good reasons why that school would be better for me. So I think I'm going to apply anyway. And whoever gives me more money gets me. I just don't want the decision to be about running...

If you need a good laugh (and who doesn't?) please read this fanfiction. It is all of 2 'paragraphs' long and it is hilaaaarious. I say 'paragraphs' because it is hard to find any semblance of any English structure in this piece. It is sooo bad. then read the reviews (flame, flame, flame) -- that's the best part ;)

The worst fan fic ever written

Just because it's there doesn't mean you see it anywhere. Maybe it's a trick of the light, maybe...
Gomez